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Common Misconceptions About Divorce and Family Law

Haskett Williams Monaghan Attorneys at Law Nov. 15, 2024

Divorce can be an emotionally charged process, and with it comes many misconceptions. Understanding the realities of divorce and family law can help individuals get through this challenging time more effectively. 

Here, we aim to clarify some of the most prevalent myths surrounding divorce and family law from our clients in Bend, Oregon. For personalized legal advice, call our family lawyers at Haskett Williams Monaghan Attorneys at Law today.

Misconception #1: Divorce Always Means a Courtroom Battle

Many people believe that getting a divorce will automatically lead to lengthy and contentious court battles. While some divorces do require litigation, this isn’t the case for everyone. In Oregon, couples have options for resolving their differences outside of court. 

Mediation is one such method that allows couples to work with a neutral third party to reach agreements on complicated issues, including: 

  • Property division

  • Child custody

  • Financial support

Collaborative divorce is another option that promotes cooperation between both parties, with the goal of finding amicable solutions. It’s crucial to recognize that litigation can be both time-consuming and costly. 

By choosing alternative dispute resolution methods, couples may find a way to end their marriage with less conflict, ultimately preserving their financial and emotional well-being.

Misconception #2: Mothers Always Get Custody of the Children

A common belief is that mothers automatically receive custody of children during divorce proceedings. This misconception overlooks the fact that Oregon law mandates custody decisions be made based on the best interests of the child, rather than the gender of the parent. Factors considered in custody cases include:

  • Each parent’s relationship with the child

  • Each parent’s ability to provide a stable environment

  • The child’s wishes, depending on their age and maturity

Both parents have equal rights to seek custody, and judges aim to create parenting plans that promote the child’s well-being.

Shared custody arrangements are increasingly common, reflecting a shift towards recognizing the importance of both parents in a child’s life.

Misconception #3: Property Is Automatically Split 50/50

While Oregon is considered a community property state, meaning that assets acquired during the marriage are generally considered joint property, the distribution may not always result in a 50/50 split. 

Factors such as the length of the marriage, the financial situation of each spouse, and the contributions made by each party can all influence how property is divided.

It’s important to note that separate property, which includes assets owned before the marriage or received as a gift or inheritance, may not be subject to division. Understanding these nuances is crucial when approaching property division in divorce proceedings.

Misconception #4: Divorce Always Means Financial Ruin

Many individuals fear that divorce will lead to financial devastation. While it’s true that divorce can have financial implications, it doesn’t necessarily spell disaster. Couples in Oregon can take proactive steps to manage their finances during and after the divorce process.

Creating a detailed budget, understanding one’s assets and debts, and seeking professional financial advice can help individuals get through this transition more smoothly. 

Additionally, the division of property and debts may lead to a more balanced financial situation for both parties. Recognizing the potential for financial stability post-divorce is vital for those going through this process.

Misconception #5: Child Support Payments Are Fixed and Unchangeable

In reality, child support in Oregon can be modified if circumstances change significantly for either parent. Factors that may warrant a modification include changes in income, employment status, or the needs of the child.

The process for requesting a modification typically involves filing a petition with the court, and it’s essential for both parents to understand that changes can be made when justified. Being aware of this option can help parents feel more secure about their financial responsibilities in the long term.

Misconception #6: All Divorce Cases Go to Trial

While it’s true that some cases require trial due to unresolved issues, many divorces in Oregon are settled outside of court. 

Factors such as mutual agreement on key issues, mediation, and collaborative divorce can significantly reduce the need for litigation.

Moreover, courts encourage parties to reach settlements before going to trial. This not only saves time and money but also allows couples to maintain some control over the outcomes of their cases. Understanding that trial isn’t the only path can alleviate stress and promote a more cooperative approach.

Misconception #7: You Can’t Get a Divorce Without Your Spouse’s Consent

In Oregon, one spouse can file for divorce without the other’s consent. This means that even if one partner is unwilling to participate in the process, the other can still pursue a divorce.

However, while one spouse can initiate the process, the outcome may be influenced by the level of cooperation or resistance from the other party. Engaging with an attorney familiar with family law in Oregon can help people through situations where one spouse is uncooperative.

Misconception #8: Prenuptial Agreements Are Only for the Wealthy

This misconception overlooks the benefits that such agreements can provide for any couple. A prenup can address various issues, including debt division and property rights, which can be crucial for individuals regardless of their financial status.

By having a prenuptial agreement in place, couples can clarify expectations and reduce potential disputes in the event of divorce. This proactive approach to financial planning can serve as a valuable tool for couples looking to protect their interests.

Misconception #9: Divorce Is Always a Quick Process

While some divorces may be resolved relatively quickly, many people believe that the process is always fast. The duration of a divorce can vary widely depending on factors such as:

  • The intricacy of the issues involved

  • The level of cooperation between spouses

  • The court’s schedule

In Oregon, the minimum waiting period for a divorce is typically 90 days, according to Oregon Law Help. However, disputes over custody, property division, or other matters can extend this timeline significantly. It’s important for individuals to have realistic expectations about the time it may take to finalize their divorce.

Misconception #10: Divorce Means Losing Everything You’ve Worked For

The fear of losing everything during a divorce can be overwhelming. However, it’s important to recognize that divorce doesn’t automatically mean financial ruin. Many individuals successfully survive this transition and rebuild their lives.

Understanding one’s rights and options under family law is essential. With the right information and support, individuals can make informed decisions about property division, support obligations, and their overall financial future. Empowering oneself with knowledge can mitigate feelings of helplessness and anxiety during this time.

Misconception #11: You Can’t Date Until Your Divorce Is Finalized

While it’s generally advisable to wait until the divorce is finalized to start dating, there are no legal restrictions on dating while the process is ongoing. 

However, this choice can have emotional implications and may impact the divorce proceedings, particularly in custody disputes. Understanding the potential consequences of dating during divorce can help individuals make informed decisions about their personal lives during this time.

Misconception #12: All Family Law Cases Are Similar

Each case is unique and influenced by various factors, including the specific circumstances of the marriage, the needs of any children involved, and the priorities of the parties. 

Family law encompasses a broad range of issues, from divorce and child custody to adoption and domestic violence.

Recognizing that each case has its own dynamics can help individuals approach their situations with a clearer perspective. It’s beneficial to consult with someone knowledgeable about family law to understand how the nuances of a specific case may affect the outcomes.

Contact a Reputable Attorney

By fostering a more accurate understanding of divorce and family law, individuals can approach this process with a greater sense of clarity and purpose. If you live in Bend, Oregon, or the surrounding areas of Redmond, Sun River, Prineville, and Sisters, reach out to Haskett Williams Monaghan Attorneys at Law today.